Well, I actually don't know the title that's suitable for this, so I just write it "random".
I just wanna share about someone who means a lot for me *ceileh*, yeah just a little bit, I just use my spare time by blogging, I'm not GALAU, I have mixed feelings about blogging this but for sure I just miss him suddenly out of the blue, hehehe :D
What does it feel when you lose someone who means a lot for you? You do your best, you make an effort, you fight with those bad conditions, you always try to make them happy, but they disappear.
Whatever it is..
I just ended my relationship with my boyfriend, I felt sad, I always cried, I changed a lot, and so many bad things I had done, but it didn't last long till I met someone.
I don't want to mention his name, just people around me who know about his name.
He came into my life brought the happiness, for the first time we knew each other, I felt something different with him. I felt comfortable, but you know the first time I stalked his account and saw his photos, I thought "wow! he was so interesting!". I liked the sweet smile he has, I liked how he treated his friends, I liked all about him :D
One night when I was listening to music while laying on my bed, I got a text message but I didn't notice that, I really enjoyed my music.
I read that text message which contains an introduction message by mentioning my name. "Hi.. Maria yah? :)"
You know what? I didn't even want to reply the message like that. So I deleted it.
When night turned into morning, I saw the message again in my phone. "Kok gak dibales sih smsnya neng? hehe" It annoyed me, REALLY. I was angry and replied it with uncontrollably words.
I was shocked when he said his name is...... I didn't believe easily, I opened my account and asked him there and it was TRUE!
Someone gave my number to him, someone told him that I just broke up with my boyfriend, and it seemed like the person offered the chance to him.
I felt sorry, I apologized for many times but it didn't matter he said. He always tried to cheer me up, he was a good listener for me, and also the best giver solution ever.
He's good at music, He's smart, He doesn't like sport (not too much I mean), He was vocalist in his band, and many more.
One day, we were hostile, he was angry with me so were his friends. I knew I was fool, why this happened to me?
At that moment I really felt lose, I apparently loved him so much, I cried out loud, I couldn't forgive myself.
He talked to me that he was not angry but his disappointment was on the top, I didn't do anything, I blamed myself everyday. We didn't communicate for 3 months till he contacted me again by messaging me on facebook, asked how had I been, and he told me that he actually missed to talk to me.
We lived our days as usual, he's so far from me but as long as he contacted me it felt so near, maybe it was called as LOVE.
He asked me how if he had come to my city, I replied with many smiley emoticons, and I really hoped it would be true.
It was undeniable he really came to my city, he picked me up from school, he took me to my home, he introduced himself with my parents, we went hang out together till I felt really something different with him when saturday night.
Surely he didn't come here alone, but with his friends. He rented the stage in a cafe here just to perform for me. He said that the songs were brought by them just for the girl who wore white dress and sat behind the flower. He pointed me and I smiled. He was everything!
I couldn't say anything, I wanted to talk about my feeling to him that night, but I was not brave enough, I didn't have the guts. But I knew he's a good man! I appreciated it. I just said that I really thanked for what he had done. I felt sorry about what happened between us, I didn't mean to do that but it crossed my mind every I saw your name in my phone, so I didn't want you to leave me anymore, please stay. I held his hand suddenly and it was beyond my consciousness!
I just wanted to be honest. He said that he promised he wouldn't leave me, he couldn't be angry with me but when he was disappointed he would tell the truth, he would always care with me, he said that he had never felt like this before, he thanked to me that I had taught so many things in life, I wanted to accept his bad sides, we were not in a relationship but he felt like he was.
I really didn't know why for 4 years I knew him I didn't want to make him as my boyfriend. Oh yaa! I just have one reason that I didn't want to lose him especially when we broke up someday.
One day, when the day was his birthday I said my birthday greetings to him and I had been the first for 4 times! Yihaaaa :D
We had been talking so long though my dad asked me to sleep, I didn't care.
Suddenly he asked me, what if I asked you to be my girlfriend, I replied with BIG NO. I meant for now, I enjoyed about us.
He laughed at me, He asked me about my feelings, whether it was true or not that I loved him, he knew that I posted his photo on my account lol :))
It's okay I told him fluently.
I told him that the person I always talked about is him, I loved him for the first time we met, for the first time I saw his photos he looked so interesting till I couldn't help myself from thinking about him, I missed him everyday, I felt comfortable when he was with me, though he was so far it didn't matter, I collected his photos more than mine, sometimes when I was bored I always wrote his name on my table, and I loved to listen to the songs which were given by him. I loved everything about him, I didn't care for every problem he had, If I could, we would face them together, I told him that I would always be by his side, through the good and bad.
I cried.. I cried.. Then he asked me to stop crying. He said that he was fool, he said that he didn't realize what I wanted, what I felt, he told the same that he really loved me, but he couldn't make me to be his, his problems were so many, he didn't want to involve people around him, he believed with me, he thanked to me, he said that he wouldn't leave me, he missed my voice everyday, but if I wanted to leave him someday, he was willing to accept all. He said that he wasn't a good boy, He prayed for me that I must had the man who was suitable for me, good, interesting and more more more....
Day by day, I was too busy with my activities till I forgot him anyway, he came to me again, as usual we live our days together :D
I felt happy everyday, but the problem came into my life when my friend started to like him.
They met accidentally, she didn't even know that I loved him so much but she just knew that I was his friend. What an abandoned girl.
They became close, I became jealous. So jealous.
What I thought of them were different from expectation, my friend actually so expected to him, but he only considered her as his sister and his friend.
I was really happy, he always had spare time for me, though he was busy he always told me, but not for her.
I told her that I loved him so much, longer than she knew about him, she was shocked.
She told me that she loved him too, she wouldn't leave him, she always cared with him. And it really made me BLEW UP!
I had been keeping it till I found the right time to tell it all.
I told him that it was better to look for a girlfriend for him, I didn't want to he fell in love with my friend. I begged to him.
But he said that he had been waiting for the girl he loved. I really got it what he meant. I knew, but he hadn't been ready, he would always wait for that girl.
"if you wanted me to have a girlfriend, it's okay. If you could be happy with it, I accepted. Maybe you had found the right man now, it's okay. And about your friend, I just considered her as my sister, cause she always needed my help. I didn't love her, I loved that girl, Mar."
He had already got a girlfriend, when one month passed I said "happy anniversary", and asked him about his relationship, he enjoyed it, I smiled.
Suddenly I felt regret about this, why always at the wrong time we met? I really would be his, but I couldn't. Just one reason I didn't want to break up with him.
Maybe it was not the right time. I decided myself to leave him for a while. I said that I needed his help to not contact me as long as I didn't contact him. I just wanted to disappear, I didn't want to disturb his happiness. He didn't agree at first, but finally he wanted.
I miss him right now anyway, I dreamed about him so many times nowadays, when my birthday his friend told me that he missed me, he prayed for me to get everything I want and don't forget to be strong for every problem I have.
You know reader, he's really a good man that I've been waiting for. I gotta take the risks for what happen and will happen to me, and someday I'm gonna make him to be mine, I just need the right time with the right decision, also the guts.
Good night!
Thanks for reading.
Much love<3<3
I just wanna share about someone who means a lot for me *ceileh*, yeah just a little bit, I just use my spare time by blogging, I'm not GALAU, I have mixed feelings about blogging this but for sure I just miss him suddenly out of the blue, hehehe :D
What does it feel when you lose someone who means a lot for you? You do your best, you make an effort, you fight with those bad conditions, you always try to make them happy, but they disappear.
Whatever it is..
I just ended my relationship with my boyfriend, I felt sad, I always cried, I changed a lot, and so many bad things I had done, but it didn't last long till I met someone.
I don't want to mention his name, just people around me who know about his name.
He came into my life brought the happiness, for the first time we knew each other, I felt something different with him. I felt comfortable, but you know the first time I stalked his account and saw his photos, I thought "wow! he was so interesting!". I liked the sweet smile he has, I liked how he treated his friends, I liked all about him :D
One night when I was listening to music while laying on my bed, I got a text message but I didn't notice that, I really enjoyed my music.
I read that text message which contains an introduction message by mentioning my name. "Hi.. Maria yah? :)"
You know what? I didn't even want to reply the message like that. So I deleted it.
When night turned into morning, I saw the message again in my phone. "Kok gak dibales sih smsnya neng? hehe" It annoyed me, REALLY. I was angry and replied it with uncontrollably words.
I was shocked when he said his name is...... I didn't believe easily, I opened my account and asked him there and it was TRUE!
Someone gave my number to him, someone told him that I just broke up with my boyfriend, and it seemed like the person offered the chance to him.
I felt sorry, I apologized for many times but it didn't matter he said. He always tried to cheer me up, he was a good listener for me, and also the best giver solution ever.
He's good at music, He's smart, He doesn't like sport (not too much I mean), He was vocalist in his band, and many more.
One day, we were hostile, he was angry with me so were his friends. I knew I was fool, why this happened to me?
At that moment I really felt lose, I apparently loved him so much, I cried out loud, I couldn't forgive myself.
He talked to me that he was not angry but his disappointment was on the top, I didn't do anything, I blamed myself everyday. We didn't communicate for 3 months till he contacted me again by messaging me on facebook, asked how had I been, and he told me that he actually missed to talk to me.
We lived our days as usual, he's so far from me but as long as he contacted me it felt so near, maybe it was called as LOVE.
He asked me how if he had come to my city, I replied with many smiley emoticons, and I really hoped it would be true.
It was undeniable he really came to my city, he picked me up from school, he took me to my home, he introduced himself with my parents, we went hang out together till I felt really something different with him when saturday night.
Surely he didn't come here alone, but with his friends. He rented the stage in a cafe here just to perform for me. He said that the songs were brought by them just for the girl who wore white dress and sat behind the flower. He pointed me and I smiled. He was everything!
I couldn't say anything, I wanted to talk about my feeling to him that night, but I was not brave enough, I didn't have the guts. But I knew he's a good man! I appreciated it. I just said that I really thanked for what he had done. I felt sorry about what happened between us, I didn't mean to do that but it crossed my mind every I saw your name in my phone, so I didn't want you to leave me anymore, please stay. I held his hand suddenly and it was beyond my consciousness!
I just wanted to be honest. He said that he promised he wouldn't leave me, he couldn't be angry with me but when he was disappointed he would tell the truth, he would always care with me, he said that he had never felt like this before, he thanked to me that I had taught so many things in life, I wanted to accept his bad sides, we were not in a relationship but he felt like he was.
I really didn't know why for 4 years I knew him I didn't want to make him as my boyfriend. Oh yaa! I just have one reason that I didn't want to lose him especially when we broke up someday.
One day, when the day was his birthday I said my birthday greetings to him and I had been the first for 4 times! Yihaaaa :D
We had been talking so long though my dad asked me to sleep, I didn't care.
Suddenly he asked me, what if I asked you to be my girlfriend, I replied with BIG NO. I meant for now, I enjoyed about us.
He laughed at me, He asked me about my feelings, whether it was true or not that I loved him, he knew that I posted his photo on my account lol :))
It's okay I told him fluently.
I told him that the person I always talked about is him, I loved him for the first time we met, for the first time I saw his photos he looked so interesting till I couldn't help myself from thinking about him, I missed him everyday, I felt comfortable when he was with me, though he was so far it didn't matter, I collected his photos more than mine, sometimes when I was bored I always wrote his name on my table, and I loved to listen to the songs which were given by him. I loved everything about him, I didn't care for every problem he had, If I could, we would face them together, I told him that I would always be by his side, through the good and bad.
I cried.. I cried.. Then he asked me to stop crying. He said that he was fool, he said that he didn't realize what I wanted, what I felt, he told the same that he really loved me, but he couldn't make me to be his, his problems were so many, he didn't want to involve people around him, he believed with me, he thanked to me, he said that he wouldn't leave me, he missed my voice everyday, but if I wanted to leave him someday, he was willing to accept all. He said that he wasn't a good boy, He prayed for me that I must had the man who was suitable for me, good, interesting and more more more....
Day by day, I was too busy with my activities till I forgot him anyway, he came to me again, as usual we live our days together :D
I felt happy everyday, but the problem came into my life when my friend started to like him.
They met accidentally, she didn't even know that I loved him so much but she just knew that I was his friend. What an abandoned girl.
They became close, I became jealous. So jealous.
What I thought of them were different from expectation, my friend actually so expected to him, but he only considered her as his sister and his friend.
I was really happy, he always had spare time for me, though he was busy he always told me, but not for her.
I told her that I loved him so much, longer than she knew about him, she was shocked.
She told me that she loved him too, she wouldn't leave him, she always cared with him. And it really made me BLEW UP!
I had been keeping it till I found the right time to tell it all.
I told him that it was better to look for a girlfriend for him, I didn't want to he fell in love with my friend. I begged to him.
But he said that he had been waiting for the girl he loved. I really got it what he meant. I knew, but he hadn't been ready, he would always wait for that girl.
"if you wanted me to have a girlfriend, it's okay. If you could be happy with it, I accepted. Maybe you had found the right man now, it's okay. And about your friend, I just considered her as my sister, cause she always needed my help. I didn't love her, I loved that girl, Mar."
He had already got a girlfriend, when one month passed I said "happy anniversary", and asked him about his relationship, he enjoyed it, I smiled.
Suddenly I felt regret about this, why always at the wrong time we met? I really would be his, but I couldn't. Just one reason I didn't want to break up with him.
Maybe it was not the right time. I decided myself to leave him for a while. I said that I needed his help to not contact me as long as I didn't contact him. I just wanted to disappear, I didn't want to disturb his happiness. He didn't agree at first, but finally he wanted.
I miss him right now anyway, I dreamed about him so many times nowadays, when my birthday his friend told me that he missed me, he prayed for me to get everything I want and don't forget to be strong for every problem I have.
You know reader, he's really a good man that I've been waiting for. I gotta take the risks for what happen and will happen to me, and someday I'm gonna make him to be mine, I just need the right time with the right decision, also the guts.
Good night!
Thanks for reading.
Much love<3<3
That's a good text dear :) You definitely know how to write and what you want to say in your texts. Hope someday you can be with that special one you tell us about, I wish you the best!
ReplyDeleteRandom ?? ;D
ReplyDeleteit was heart touching .....u poured ur
emotions into it...dats what i liked d most.....hope you would keep writing in the future...after publishing it....do send me the first copy..
God bless u :)